Here.I.Am.

the one that you love....

ummm. not so much. that song just popped in there. that's soooo me. it's how i roll....

so i need a place to journal. and vent. and i have no f'n privacy. AT. ALL. my husband is a control-freak-psycho. i closed my facebook because of him. i cannot keep a journal at home OR WORK because of him. yeah, he goes thru my shiz at home and works next door to my office -- his employer is landlord of my office and conveniently he has a key to my office. NICE, huh??

i will apologize now for the ramblings you may read here. i am on medication. i do not like taking them. i am also seeing a counselor. i have trouble sleeping.

i am in my early thirties. i have children. i am currently working on getting out of my marriage. I want a divorce. Wow. I have never typed, written, or said that. i have not been able to be myself for almost 14 years. it is not his fault. it is mine. *I* am to blame. that is why *I* must right the situation.

and there is no "RIGHT" as far as i can tell..... i want to be happy. i want to feel whole. i want to be home. it is not where i am.